I have been obsessed with older hymns lately. There is something about the phrasing and word choice that makes my heart long for Christ all the more.
Here's one for example:
Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood from Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure; save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labors of my hands can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know; could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone; Thou must save, and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress; helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly; wash me, Savior, or I die.
While I draw this fleeting breath, when mine eyes shall close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown, see thee on thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.
I love the imagery of Christ being a cleft in the rock for me to hide within. There are so many days when that is where I dwell. And then there are other days when I try to hold onto the outer wall of the cliff and hang on while the storm blows me around. The cleft is so much better.
I was reminded this week of the story behind Jeremiah 29:11. The people of Israel had been exiled from Jerusalem and sent to Babylon. They were anxiously awaiting rescue and restoration from the Lord; waiting to be returned home. The message Jeremiah brought was less than thrilling. The Lord told them to put down roots and invest in the city, to pray for its welfare, as it would be their welfare as well. Then in verse 11, the Lord speaks of His good plans for the people. But he follows that promise by revealing that they will live in exile for the next 70 years. We tend to leave that part of the story out.
What a message for where I am today. I can get so caught up in looking ahead to what I think the Lord may have for my life, that I forget to put down roots today. I know that the Lord has me where I am for a purpose, but the planner in me struggles with resting in that truth. I always think I can do it bigger and better, and then the Lord wows me with His plan instead. He is so much greater!
It brings me back to another hymn that blesses my soul to sing.
A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing;
Our helper He amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing,
Were not the right man on our side, the man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be? Christ Jesus, it is he;
Lord Sabaoth, his name, from age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.
And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us.
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure;
One little word shall fell him.
That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours, through Him who with us sideth.
Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also;
The body they may kill; God's truth abideth still;
His kingdom is forever.
He wins in the end. All my planning and worrying aside, He's already written the story. Praise God the pen is in His hands and not mine.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Metamorphosis - Destruction to Life
We are studying the book of Ephesians at the Porch right now and last Tuesday we were in chapter 4 verses 17-32. JP (@jpokluda) was talking about "truth that makes you different" (v. 20-24) and it brought a picture to my mind.
My parents are avid gardeners and my mom could be equated to the plant whisperer. She could bring a stick back to life and putting out leaves just by sticking it in the ground. I went out to their house last week and saw something extremely rare...
They had a plant that was dying.
She has a vine (I don't even know what it is...can you say brown thumb?) with beautiful purple flowers growing at the front of their house. But the vine looked like nothing more than twine with the remnants of what might have been leaves at some point. When she came outside, I asked her what was going on with her vine.
She told me it was being attacked by caterpillars. They have migrated in and demolished the vine, leaving nothing but what could be described as a shadow of the vine's former glory. The caterpillars come in and eat everything they can, leaving ruin in their wake. As my mom was explaining their path of destruction and her failed attempts at getting rid of them, a beautiful butterfly flew by. She pointed it out and said, "And yet, that is what these terrible caterpillars become! How can you hate something so beautiful?"
As I listened to JP teach about restoration and renewal, I could not help but think of the caterpillars and butterflies. They begin as destructive, unappealing creatures that ruin beautiful living things. But then they change. They become butterflies that are not only beautiful, but help bring forth beauty in other things through pollination.
What a perfect picture of the change we go through as believers. We are dead in our sin, prone to destruction, leaving ruin wherever we go. But then Christ comes into the picture and we are transformed. We become beautiful, bearing fruit with gifts we can use to build up the body of Christ. We can help bring life to those who are living dead. We are different because of the truth we come to know. Joseph's words in Genesis 50:20 summarize this metamorphosis perfect for me. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Destruction to Life.
My parents are avid gardeners and my mom could be equated to the plant whisperer. She could bring a stick back to life and putting out leaves just by sticking it in the ground. I went out to their house last week and saw something extremely rare...
They had a plant that was dying.
She has a vine (I don't even know what it is...can you say brown thumb?) with beautiful purple flowers growing at the front of their house. But the vine looked like nothing more than twine with the remnants of what might have been leaves at some point. When she came outside, I asked her what was going on with her vine.
She told me it was being attacked by caterpillars. They have migrated in and demolished the vine, leaving nothing but what could be described as a shadow of the vine's former glory. The caterpillars come in and eat everything they can, leaving ruin in their wake. As my mom was explaining their path of destruction and her failed attempts at getting rid of them, a beautiful butterfly flew by. She pointed it out and said, "And yet, that is what these terrible caterpillars become! How can you hate something so beautiful?"
As I listened to JP teach about restoration and renewal, I could not help but think of the caterpillars and butterflies. They begin as destructive, unappealing creatures that ruin beautiful living things. But then they change. They become butterflies that are not only beautiful, but help bring forth beauty in other things through pollination.
What a perfect picture of the change we go through as believers. We are dead in our sin, prone to destruction, leaving ruin wherever we go. But then Christ comes into the picture and we are transformed. We become beautiful, bearing fruit with gifts we can use to build up the body of Christ. We can help bring life to those who are living dead. We are different because of the truth we come to know. Joseph's words in Genesis 50:20 summarize this metamorphosis perfect for me. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Destruction to Life.
Wisdom from a Chick Flick
So while I am not necessarily recommending this movie, I did appreciate a tidbit of wisdom shared by the female star. The movie - "Something Borrowed". The quote - "I want to be the first choice. Not the second choice he settles for." To summarize the situation, she was in love with a man who was unavailable. No surprise for a story line from Hollywood.
The sentiment is so true however.
I am at a point in my life where my tolerance for bad behavior has shifted. I guess you could call it growing up. My expectations have changed not only for those around me, but for myself as well. Those things which I would have overlooked or ignored to avoid making someone feel awkward, are no longer deterrents for me. I became grossly aware of this fact a few nights ago.
I was discussing the idea of allowing universities to pay stipends to athletes, particularly in football programs, in addition to financial aid. Now, I realize that I may not appear to be the type who would be knowledgeable or even interested in a debate of this nature, but in actuality, it was great to get to talk about something I spent four years studying and am still researching. I am "the pretty girl" who earned a B.S. in Sports Management and am pursuing a Masters in the same. To say I'm "interested in sports" is a massive understatement. And yet, as has happened multiple times in my life, a "peer" of opposing gender assumed I knew nothing of the subject.
As our discussion grew to a more heated debate, I heard something that I would have let slide a year ago, but confronted instead. After providing multiple reasons why I believe stipends at the university level are a bad idea, I heard a voice which insulted me to my core. My "peer" mimicked my last comment using a "valley girl" accent and acted like he was flipping his hair. In my disgust, I told him it was offensive and condescending to mock me in such a way. To be honest, I was a little surprised I didn't just laugh it off and move on. But I had had enough.
I think what it boils down to is that my expectation of men has changed. I hear it in church every week that men need to step up and be men. Women relish the opportunity to say amen to such a message and yet women do not hold any kind of standard for the men in their lives. We are not being accountable to our actions either.
Coming back to our movie quote: "the first choice. Not the second choice he settles for." I can't help but feel like I have been too willing to settle as well. I cannot reasonably expect any man to "rise to the occasion" when I am more than willing to lower my standards and expectations, many times below where that man thrives. It goes both ways. If I settle, then I will be happy to be settled for as well. So I am choosing to thrive instead. And if that means walking through the next several years single, then so be it. Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." My God is enough.
The sentiment is so true however.
I am at a point in my life where my tolerance for bad behavior has shifted. I guess you could call it growing up. My expectations have changed not only for those around me, but for myself as well. Those things which I would have overlooked or ignored to avoid making someone feel awkward, are no longer deterrents for me. I became grossly aware of this fact a few nights ago.
I was discussing the idea of allowing universities to pay stipends to athletes, particularly in football programs, in addition to financial aid. Now, I realize that I may not appear to be the type who would be knowledgeable or even interested in a debate of this nature, but in actuality, it was great to get to talk about something I spent four years studying and am still researching. I am "the pretty girl" who earned a B.S. in Sports Management and am pursuing a Masters in the same. To say I'm "interested in sports" is a massive understatement. And yet, as has happened multiple times in my life, a "peer" of opposing gender assumed I knew nothing of the subject.
As our discussion grew to a more heated debate, I heard something that I would have let slide a year ago, but confronted instead. After providing multiple reasons why I believe stipends at the university level are a bad idea, I heard a voice which insulted me to my core. My "peer" mimicked my last comment using a "valley girl" accent and acted like he was flipping his hair. In my disgust, I told him it was offensive and condescending to mock me in such a way. To be honest, I was a little surprised I didn't just laugh it off and move on. But I had had enough.
I think what it boils down to is that my expectation of men has changed. I hear it in church every week that men need to step up and be men. Women relish the opportunity to say amen to such a message and yet women do not hold any kind of standard for the men in their lives. We are not being accountable to our actions either.
Coming back to our movie quote: "the first choice. Not the second choice he settles for." I can't help but feel like I have been too willing to settle as well. I cannot reasonably expect any man to "rise to the occasion" when I am more than willing to lower my standards and expectations, many times below where that man thrives. It goes both ways. If I settle, then I will be happy to be settled for as well. So I am choosing to thrive instead. And if that means walking through the next several years single, then so be it. Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." My God is enough.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Looking Ahead
Today, as I tried to pour what wisdom and life experience I have into the life of one of my students, I realized what I was telling her, I also needed to hear myself. She shared her plans for the coming year, as she is approaching her senior year, full of anxiety about the to-do list she has created for herself. I told her the following words of wisdom, in total confidence that what I was saying was true for her life.
First, the Lord not only commands us to rest, but He also set an example of rest for us both in creation and in his life as God and man on the earth. If we disregard this simple principle, the outcome is stress and fear. Second, if you constantly look ahead to what the next stage in life will bring, you will miss what the Lord has for you right now.
Thinking back just a few hours after that conversation, I am realizing that I have not been living by my own advice. I am constantly pushing ahead, claiming to not have a need for rest. I can handle it. Not only that, but I have been completely consumed with what's next for my life. I am not content in where the Lord has me.
I think what's even worse is that I have not sought Him for either of these areas of my life. I feel so utterly confident that I know what is best, that I do not turn to Him. Even when everything seems to be shattering all around me, I can handle it. How did I get to this point? It's really quite simple. Society screams to my generation and particularly my gender that we do not need help from anyone. As a woman it is my role to take charge. "If I don't, no one will." Well, that ideology is completely contrary to the Word that very eloquently lays out my charge.
Proverbs 31:10-31 speaks about "the woman who fears the Lord". It describes a strong and capable woman, who not only possesses great gifts, but uses them always to glorify the Lord, provide for her family, and always honors her husband. But one thing that stands out to me in this scripture is the description of her husband in verse 23. Her husband is not idle while she works. He is a leader simultaneously and is greatly respected in the land. What a picture! A husband and a wife beautifully complementing and completing each others' strengths and weaknesses.
While I wait for that day, I can only strive after the Lord and do my best to become the woman he has called me to be; all the while praying for the man who will someday join me in what will become our pursuit of Christ, both together and singularly.
First, the Lord not only commands us to rest, but He also set an example of rest for us both in creation and in his life as God and man on the earth. If we disregard this simple principle, the outcome is stress and fear. Second, if you constantly look ahead to what the next stage in life will bring, you will miss what the Lord has for you right now.
Thinking back just a few hours after that conversation, I am realizing that I have not been living by my own advice. I am constantly pushing ahead, claiming to not have a need for rest. I can handle it. Not only that, but I have been completely consumed with what's next for my life. I am not content in where the Lord has me.
I think what's even worse is that I have not sought Him for either of these areas of my life. I feel so utterly confident that I know what is best, that I do not turn to Him. Even when everything seems to be shattering all around me, I can handle it. How did I get to this point? It's really quite simple. Society screams to my generation and particularly my gender that we do not need help from anyone. As a woman it is my role to take charge. "If I don't, no one will." Well, that ideology is completely contrary to the Word that very eloquently lays out my charge.
Proverbs 31:10-31 speaks about "the woman who fears the Lord". It describes a strong and capable woman, who not only possesses great gifts, but uses them always to glorify the Lord, provide for her family, and always honors her husband. But one thing that stands out to me in this scripture is the description of her husband in verse 23. Her husband is not idle while she works. He is a leader simultaneously and is greatly respected in the land. What a picture! A husband and a wife beautifully complementing and completing each others' strengths and weaknesses.
While I wait for that day, I can only strive after the Lord and do my best to become the woman he has called me to be; all the while praying for the man who will someday join me in what will become our pursuit of Christ, both together and singularly.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
February 16, 2009
I was looking through one of my old journals and stumbled upon something I wrote nearly two years ago, that set me back to re-read. I thought I would share part of it here.
"Saturday night at church, Matt (my pastor) talked about waging war against the sin that is in our lives. I realized that although I am able and willing to acknowledge my sin, I am less quick to correct that sin and fight it with all that I have. I try to rationalize my behavior and play on the line between purity and sin. It is an impossible balancing act that is exhausting and painful.
Two things have seemed to be running constantly through my mind. The first, is James 1:5-6. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, without doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." The second is a song by Phil Wickham called "Messiah". "Look. The road is narrow and hard to find. With secret battles inside our minds, who can last? God, we need your strength to fight, your light to guide us through the night. You're our only chance. Messiah, save us!"
That is my plea. I need to be rescued. Even if I wind up in the same place, and face the same situations, I need to be reminded of God's faithfulness to be my only hope."
What a sobering reminder. I cannot begin to express how excited I am to finally be into a new year. In so many ways, last year was probably the hardest year of my life to date. One of my dear friends reminded me of a verse yesterday that perfectly defines the hope to which I am currently clinging.
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18 -19 ESV
Regardless of my circumstances, God is good and He is making a way.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Missing Papa
My grandpa (Papa) passed away Monday, one year ago. This time of year is very hard without him. I've been thinking back on our time together, up through the last week of his life when we received the report that he had liver cancer. Throughout my life, he was an incredible example of a man after God's heart. He used to read and pray for hours every night seeking after His Creator.
I wish that I had the fervor he did. He never gave up on his faith, even when everything seemed to be screaming, "RUN AWAY! He (God) may say He is good, but He isn't!" Circumstances did not affect his love for Christ. I know that is something I struggle with. I am so thankful to have had his life as an example for me. He gave me a tangible picture of what it means to live your life for Christ.
I am still hopeful that I will be able to reach that point in my faith and walk with the Lord. It can be so easy to turn my back on Christ and walk away from His truth. The good news is, He never turns his back on me. His love stays strong and His Word stays true.
I wish that I had the fervor he did. He never gave up on his faith, even when everything seemed to be screaming, "RUN AWAY! He (God) may say He is good, but He isn't!" Circumstances did not affect his love for Christ. I know that is something I struggle with. I am so thankful to have had his life as an example for me. He gave me a tangible picture of what it means to live your life for Christ.
I am still hopeful that I will be able to reach that point in my faith and walk with the Lord. It can be so easy to turn my back on Christ and walk away from His truth. The good news is, He never turns his back on me. His love stays strong and His Word stays true.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Grace
I was thinking about a conversation I had with a very dear friend of mine a few years ago about the subject of grace. He was frustrated because in his home group, he was struggling with extending grace to his guys and could not figure out why. I remember telling him that he could not extend grace well, because he had not learned how to accept grace from Christ.
Thinking back on that, I now know that that lesson was as much for me as it was for him. In my own life, I have a hard time accepting grace on a somewhat regular basis. The problem is my pride. Pride that screams that Christ is somehow not enough; that my sin is bigger than he is. When I look at it in those terms, it seems absolutely ridiculous to deny grace.
My frustration comes when I see the hypocrisy of those who claim to be like-minded in their faith in Christ. How can you accept grace from Christ and simultaneously deny it to others? To these, some sins are forgivable, while others are not. There is no such thing as a point of no return with Christ, so why do we create them for ourselves and others?
I know that my understanding of Christ and who he is, is still far from complete. But I know that I am fully known by Him, which makes my pursuit of Him all the sweeter.
Thinking back on that, I now know that that lesson was as much for me as it was for him. In my own life, I have a hard time accepting grace on a somewhat regular basis. The problem is my pride. Pride that screams that Christ is somehow not enough; that my sin is bigger than he is. When I look at it in those terms, it seems absolutely ridiculous to deny grace.
My frustration comes when I see the hypocrisy of those who claim to be like-minded in their faith in Christ. How can you accept grace from Christ and simultaneously deny it to others? To these, some sins are forgivable, while others are not. There is no such thing as a point of no return with Christ, so why do we create them for ourselves and others?
I know that my understanding of Christ and who he is, is still far from complete. But I know that I am fully known by Him, which makes my pursuit of Him all the sweeter.
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