Looking Ahead

Today, as I tried to pour what wisdom and life experience I have into the life of one of my students, I realized what I was telling her, I also needed to hear myself. She shared her plans for the coming year, as she is approaching her senior year, full of anxiety about the to-do list she has created for herself. I told her the following words of wisdom, in total confidence that what I was saying was true for her life.
 
First, the Lord not only commands us to rest, but He also set an example of rest for us both in creation and in his life as God and man on the earth. If we disregard this simple principle, the outcome is stress and fear. Second, if you constantly look ahead to what the next stage in life will bring, you will miss what the Lord has for you right now.
 
Thinking back just a few hours after that conversation, I am realizing that I have not been living by my own advice. I am constantly pushing ahead, claiming to not have a need for rest. I can handle it. Not only that, but I have been completely consumed with what's next for my life. I am not content in where the Lord has me.
 
I think what's even worse is that I have not sought Him for either of these areas of my life. I feel so utterly confident that I know what is best, that I do not turn to Him. Even when everything seems to be shattering all around me, I can handle it. How did I get to this point? It's really quite simple. Society screams to my generation and particularly my gender that we do not need help from anyone. As a woman it is my role to take charge. "If I don't, no one will." Well, that ideology is completely contrary to the Word that very eloquently lays out my charge.
 
Proverbs 31:10-31 speaks about "the woman who fears the Lord". It describes a strong and capable woman, who not only possesses great gifts, but uses them always to glorify the Lord, provide for her family, and always honors her husband. But one thing that stands out to me in this scripture is the description of her husband in verse 23. Her husband is not idle while she works. He is a leader simultaneously and is greatly respected in the land. What a picture! A husband and a wife beautifully complementing and completing each others' strengths and weaknesses.


While I wait for that day, I can only strive after the Lord and do my best to become the woman he has called me to be; all the while praying for the man who will someday join me in what will become our pursuit of Christ, both together and singularly.

February 16, 2009

I was looking through one of my old journals and stumbled upon something I wrote nearly two years ago, that set me back to re-read. I thought I would share part of it here.

"Saturday night at church, Matt (my pastor) talked about waging war against the sin that is in our lives. I realized that although I am able and willing to acknowledge my sin, I am less quick to correct that sin and fight it with all that I have. I try to rationalize my behavior and play on the line between purity and sin. It is an impossible balancing act that is exhausting and painful.

Two things have seemed to be running constantly through my mind. The first, is James 1:5-6. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, without doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." The second is a song by Phil Wickham called "Messiah". "Look. The road is narrow and hard to find. With secret battles inside our minds, who can last? God, we need your strength to fight, your light to guide us through the night. You're our only chance. Messiah, save us!"

That is my plea. I need to be rescued. Even if I wind up in the same place, and face the same situations, I need to be reminded of God's faithfulness to be my only hope."

What a sobering reminder. I cannot begin to express how excited I am to finally be into a new year. In so many ways, last year was probably the hardest year of my life to date. One of my dear friends reminded me of a verse yesterday that perfectly defines the hope to which I am currently clinging.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18 -19 ESV

Regardless of my circumstances, God is good and He is making a way.