So while I am not necessarily recommending this movie, I did appreciate a tidbit of wisdom shared by the female star. The movie - "Something Borrowed". The quote - "I want to be the first choice. Not the second choice he settles for." To summarize the situation, she was in love with a man who was unavailable. No surprise for a story line from Hollywood.
The sentiment is so true however.
I am at a point in my life where my tolerance for bad behavior has shifted. I guess you could call it growing up. My expectations have changed not only for those around me, but for myself as well. Those things which I would have overlooked or ignored to avoid making someone feel awkward, are no longer deterrents for me. I became grossly aware of this fact a few nights ago.
I was discussing the idea of allowing universities to pay stipends to athletes, particularly in football programs, in addition to financial aid. Now, I realize that I may not appear to be the type who would be knowledgeable or even interested in a debate of this nature, but in actuality, it was great to get to talk about something I spent four years studying and am still researching. I am "the pretty girl" who earned a B.S. in Sports Management and am pursuing a Masters in the same. To say I'm "interested in sports" is a massive understatement. And yet, as has happened multiple times in my life, a "peer" of opposing gender assumed I knew nothing of the subject.
As our discussion grew to a more heated debate, I heard something that I would have let slide a year ago, but confronted instead. After providing multiple reasons why I believe stipends at the university level are a bad idea, I heard a voice which insulted me to my core. My "peer" mimicked my last comment using a "valley girl" accent and acted like he was flipping his hair. In my disgust, I told him it was offensive and condescending to mock me in such a way. To be honest, I was a little surprised I didn't just laugh it off and move on. But I had had enough.
I think what it boils down to is that my expectation of men has changed. I hear it in church every week that men need to step up and be men. Women relish the opportunity to say amen to such a message and yet women do not hold any kind of standard for the men in their lives. We are not being accountable to our actions either.
Coming back to our movie quote: "the first choice. Not the second choice he settles for." I can't help but feel like I have been too willing to settle as well. I cannot reasonably expect any man to "rise to the occasion" when I am more than willing to lower my standards and expectations, many times below where that man thrives. It goes both ways. If I settle, then I will be happy to be settled for as well. So I am choosing to thrive instead. And if that means walking through the next several years single, then so be it. Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." My God is enough.
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